


Serendipity

by dauntless_writer



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-05 06:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6692416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dauntless_writer/pseuds/dauntless_writer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new beginning in Dauntless- all you ever wanted. But who'd thought that it would be you, the only girl from Amity, who caught the attention of the ruthless Dauntless leader Eric?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

`                 So, I close`  
                  `     my eyes`  
                `      to old ends```  
                  `     and open`  
                  `     my heart to`  
                  `     new`  
                  `     beginnings`.  
                  `              - Nick Frederickson`

  


You always knew you didn't belong in there. You weren't like the others. But little did your friends  -or even parents- know, what laid behind that bright smile of yours, behind the cheerful attitude and  the friendly behaviour. No, you didn't belong in Amity. Behind your eyes laid the uncontrollable desire to break out, to leave  everything behind and start a new life where you hadn't to pretend to be someone you weren't. Where you could show your anger whenever you wanted, where you wouldn't have to treat everybody with kid gloves, a place where you could prove yourself. Even before the aptitude test, you knew where you saw your future, the test only confirmed your decision. You were a Dauntless, without any doubt.  


_____

“And if you don't have the guts to jump, then you don't belong in Dauntless.”  You and the other initiates were standing in a circle around the leader, some of you still rubbing their wounds from the jump. A boy from Ken asked whether there was water at the bottom, and you smiled to yourself at the answer Eric gave him. Back in Amity, this would be already considered as rude. “Well, someone's gotta go first, who's it gonna be?”, the dauntless leader asked, and suddenly, everyone around you  found interest in their nails, the buildings around the roof you were standing on or the components of the floor. So, this was your chance to find out whether you were really as brave as you always considered yourself. You always thought you belonged in here, now you had to prove it.  


“Me.” Your voice sounded higher than usual, but the determination in it was hardly to overhear. The initiates in front of you turned to the side, making way for you and whispering something to each other. Without hesitation, you pulled up your long dress so you could climb on the eaves. Trying to ignore the whistles following the exposure of your legs, you concentrated on the dark hole beneath you. Maybe you could get a glance of what was awaiting you in the darkness. Nope, seemed like you just had to jump into nowhere. Not that you were afraid – it was very unlikely they'd let you all jump into death.

If you had paid attention to your surroundings, you'd have noticed how Eric's eyes were piercing you. You had aroused his interest. How could someone so small and petite like you be the one with the most guts? What really surprised him was the fact that you didn't even show  the smallest amount of fear or hesitation. There was something special about you, not only the determination in your eyes, but something that distinguished you from the other initiates, yet, he couldn't find out what it was. You had caught his attention, and it wouldn't be the last time the dauntless leader would be caught off guard by the girl with the [y/h/c] hair and the [y/e/c] eyes.  


Your heart was beating like hell as adrenaline was rushing through your body. You couldn't remember the last time you've felt so alive before, but it felt amazing.  
_Yes, this was your nature_.  
You closed your eyes, took a step forward and fell into the great nothing.   
_And today was the first day of the rest of your life._

___________


	2. Chapter 2

`               His eyes were like`  
         `         clocks that stopped`  
          `        spinning the moment`  
          `        she stared into`  
         `         them. The universe`  
          `        halted. All things`  
          `        began to breathe`  
          `        each others stillness.`  
          `        To her: it was a`  
          `        simple, blue,`  
          `        eternity ”`  
           `               - Christopher Poindexter`

  


Your body was a mine field, even the smallest movement caused pain. You could barely do anything without feeling the ache in your muscles, not to mention the pain when you were just simply sneezing. You had sore muscles at places you never even knew you had muscles! To make a long story short, they weren't going easy on you initiates. Nevertheless, aside from the pain, you felt amazing. The first days in Dauntless were just as you expected: hard and exhausting. Eight hours of training a day were surely pushing everyone to the limit, not only physically but also mentally, since  the fear of failure and the following life as factionless was constantly before your eyes in form of a red line on the ranking board.   


Fortunately, being ranked under the red line didn't concern you -at least for now.  Being born in Amity was sure an advantage, since working in the fields and  carrying bales of straw required quite an amount of muscles and strength, which you've developed quickly in your teens. And  it was this strength in combination with your ambition and stamina that helped you to get on the fifth place of the ranking.  

The only thing you really weren't made for was shooting. No matter how hard you tried, your bullets never found the red circle in the middle of the target. You let out a sigh of frustration. It was already past 6pm, which meant that everybody was enjoying their spare time, everybody expect you, who was now completely alone at the shooting range. You shot 5 bullets in a row, each of them  missing the center of the target. “Oh for fucks sake, really?”, you muttered to yourself. Your hands were probably already covered in blisters, but giving up was not an opinion, not until you hit the target at least once. It wasn't until you finished your next range of bullets (which was not any better than before) when you heard footsteps behind you.

“That red thing in the middle of the target is supposed to be hit, you know?”  
“Yeah no shit, Sherlock!”, you said exasperated as you turned around. _Fuck!_ As you saw who you were talking to, the gun dropped almost out of your hands. Nobody else but the Dauntless leader himself was now standing in front of you, his cold eyes looking down on you, not amused.

The other initiates couldn't stand him, most of them were actually just afraid of him. You couldn't blame them, Eric's whole appearance and the 'I can kill you' expression didn't make him look like the nicest man. But still, you couldn't say you were afraid of him. No, in fact you found yourself  attracted to him, because after all you couldn't deny that he was handsome. And that mysterious side of him, kinda hot, wasn't it? Furthermore, it didn't slip your attention that Eric was often watching you when he thought you weren't looking. And one time you remember seeing him smile after you landed a hard punch on another initiate's face. Maybe he knew that you found him attractive? No way, you've never talked to anyone about him, and being as self-disciplined as you always were, you never looked longer than necessary at him.   


Just as in this moment. While Eric was making his way over to you, you avoided looking in his eyes, but instead pretended to check your gun. A curse upon you and your big mouth! Everyone knew what happened to people who couldn't keep their mouth shut around him. 

“You could be ranked higher if you would do better at shooting”, he continued, ignoring your sassy remark. Saved by the bell! Just as you thought you would get out of this situation without further ado, Eric grabbed your shoulder. Suddenly, he turned you around, so that you faced the target again and put his one hand on your waist. You could feel how every muscle in your body flexed and your breath became faster. Get your shit together, [Y/N], you exhorted yourself,yet you didn't know what on earth he was going to do.    
  
“The problem is your position”, Eric said and you could feel his warm breath on your neck. “You're holding your elbow too low.” With his other hand, he lifted up the elbow of your shooting arm. “Now shoot”, he said strictly. There was something about his voice which turned you on, and you could barely concentrate on the target. Your skin was prickling all over your body, especially where his hands touched you. Concentrate! You held your breath and fired 3 bullets in a row. No way! Each of them hit the red circle. To make sure this wasn't just pure luck, you fired another bullet, again, hitting the middle of the target. The joy of finally succeeding made you forget that Eric was standing right behind you, his hand still on your waist. With a bright smile, you turned around just to find your face being only a few inches away from Eric's. As your eyes met his, it seemed like the whole universe stopped.  You never really realized how beautiful his eyes were, blue like the ocean on a rainy day. Neither of you said anything, but you'd give anything to hear what was on his mind in this moment.  His eyes were piercing you, looking right into your soul. What seemed like hours was probably just a few seconds, but still long enough to forget everything around you. The tension in the air between Eric and you was almost touchable. Deep inside you something was yearning for this man, but your common sense forced you to hold back. After all, he was your leader. Why should someone from such a high position waste his time with an initiate?  

And then, all of sudden, something in his eyes changed and he turned around. “You should leave it at that for today. Get some rest, tomorrow you’re fighting”, he said. You were to perplexed to answer something, and even if you wanted to, it seemed like you lost your voice. "And watch your mouth. Next time you won't get away this easy", he said with his cold voice before leaving the shooting range and letting you alone with your thoughts, which were going crazy right now. What the hell did just happen? But more important, why did it affect you so much? Why was your skin still prickling, and your heart beating faster than it should? You shook your head vigorously. He was just helping you to fix your problem. Nothing more. You should stop interpreting too much into everything.  
After making sure that you still were able to hit the center of the target, you went to the initiate dormitory, completely exhausted and confused.As you laid in your bed, your thoughts were circling around what happened before. The last thing you saw in front of your eyes before finally drifting into darkness were those beautiful blue eyes which were staring into your soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here is the next part:) Please let me know what you think about it, or what I could improve, I’m always open for critics ! Oh, and tell me whether the length is ok, I feel like it’s a bit short, but on the other hand, the shorter they are the faster I finish/publish them. Oh well..


	3. Chapter 3

`              We build`  
    `          castles`  
    `          with our fears`  
    `          and sleep`  
    `          in them`  
    `          like kings`  
    `          and queens.`  
    `                -Christopher Poindexter`  


The next morning you woke up earlier than everyone. Since you hadn't really made friends yet, it didn't bother you to go alone for breakfast. The cafeteria was empty, and with empty you meant really empty. Not a single person was here, so you were alone in this huge room. Silently, you put cereals in a bowl and sat down at a table. You liked being alone. You enjoyed eating by yourself and walking alone through the dauntless compound. Being from Amity, one could think you should have a lot of friends, but the truth is, you always had your problems with befriending people. You found it difficult to trust people. Trusting someone would make you vulnerable, and easily to betray. The fear of being left alone after opening up to someone was constantly on your mind. That's why you decided not to let anyone close to your feelings. Of course there were some people you tolerated more than others and talked to, but that was already it.

As the room started slowly filling you stood up to put your bowl away. Just as you were about to leave you saw a familiar figure entering the room. All of sudden, the event from yesterday (which you thought you successfully had blacked out), popped up and you felt blood rushing in you cheeks. And of course, of all the people Eric could look at, he looked right at you, as if he knew you were standing here like an idiot and watching him. Feeling a slight amount of panic growing in you, you looked away. If you wanted to leave the room you had to walk past him, and you had to do it as fast as possible to avoid any awkward situations. With your eyes fixed on the floor, you walked towards the door, without looking up once. And as you passed by Eric, you could swear that a faint smile appeared on his lips.

The first half of today's training you spent throwing knives. It looked easier than it was, and the fact that Eric was constantly walking past you didn't make it any better.

You've successfully made it through the day without facing Eric again until the second half the training where you had to fight each other.  
“Al and [Y/N]”, you heard Eric's voice resound while you were busy with lambasting the punching bag. You stopped and looked at Al who was just looking back at you. From what you caught in the past days, Al was a nice guy. He was even one of the few people who talked to you first (and not just because they felt forced to do small talk) He was sincerely kind, and if you had to pick one of the initiates to be friends with, it’d surely be him. That’s why you weren’t all too thrilled to fight him. Al was tall, much taller than you, and strong, but slow. This fight wouldn't be hard, you assumed.

“Good luck”, Al said and smiled nervously as you both stood face to face. “Thanks. But I fear that you'll need it more”, you returned the smile and gave him a wink. “Today!”, Eric's angry voice interrupted the both of you and you quickly took a glance at him before turning your attention back to Al who was going to attack you. Being fast and small, it was easy for you to dodge. While his fist went past you, you jumped forward and punched him with all you had in the ribs. Al stumbled back, you could see the pain in his eyes, but then went in for another attack. Again, you were able to dodge. After about 5 minutes, in which you also took some hits, yet not as much as him, Al was laying on the floor with bruises and blood all over his face. You were standing above him, knowing you had to finish it. But the way he looked at you, the fear and pain – you just couldn't. It was the first time you hurt someone that much. The other initiates you had been fighting against passed out after you landed a few hard punches on them, but Al, he didn't. And now he was looking at you with this expression, breathing heavily, while you were getting ready to knock him out. “Finish what you started, initiate,” Eric said impatiently. You tore your eyes away from Al and looked at Eric. “But he's already down.”  
“He's still able to get up.” You looked back to Al and bent over him. “Please...don't”, he mouthed. “I give up.”

Eric came closer and glared at Al. “Giving up is not an option. Brave people don't give up!” You felt the rage growing in you. Al was clearly down, not being able to do anything. How could Eric be so ruthless? “No!”, you stated resolutely. „Being stubborn and just letting yourself get beaten up has nothing to do with bravery!“, you said and glared at Eric. „It's just stupid. To admit defeat and knowing when to give up, that is brave.“ The astonishment was writ large in Eric's face, he surely didn't expect you to disobey his orders. As you knelt down next to Al, you recalled Eric's words from yesterday. “Next time you won't get away this easy.”

„Peter, Molly,you fight next. [Y/N], with me. Now!“ Fuck.

“I'm sorry [Y/N]”, Al whispered. “If I wasn't a coward-”  
“Stop. Don't say that, you don't have to be sorry. It's not you fault”, so said and smiled while you carefully placed your hand on his shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze.

While you made your way over to Eric, the other initiates looked at you with pity. Basically you just signed your own death warrant. Again, thanks to your big mouth. With crossed arms, Eric eyed you silently. Seems like looking at each other without words was apparently your thing now. You expected him to rant and rave at you for disobeying. But he wasn't angry. And if he was, he did a good job hiding it. Was it disappointment that you saw in his eyes? 

“A dauntless never disrespects the orders of his superior. The rules say you have to get punished”, Eric said while you were following him through the hallways. The fear of what was expecting you was unbearable. After you passed the chasm (where you kept a sufficient distance between you and Eric, much to his amusement) you lost your orientation. Eric and you alighted a staircase you never knew even existed, and came out on a narrow path carved into the rock. Beneath you was a roaring river coming from the direction of the chasm.

„Jump“, Eric said calmly and a cold shiver ran down your back. Not a man of many words, huh? You looked down. The path you were standing on was about 10 feet above the river, nothing to worry about. Fortunately, you knew how to swim, but now that you thought about it...that wouldn't really help you, the water was probably just as cold as the Arctic by this time of the year. Just thinking about it made your flesh crawl. But you didn't have another choice, did you? It was a Dauntless rule, do it or you're out. You could feel your heart beating in your throat as you stood at the edge of the small path.’,Deja vu’ you thought as the picture of your first day as a Dauntless came to your mind. ‘What's that thing with Dauntless and jumping’, you thought jokingly to cover your fear.  
You could feel Eric's eyes on your back and suddenly, your fear made way for determination. It wasn't that high, and apart from freezing nothing would happen to you. If Eric thought he could scare you then he was clearly wrong. You were brave. And jumping in cold water was definitely nothing to be scared of. You looked defiantly at Eric and turned around. Without wasting any further second, you jumped.

As you plunged in the water, it felt as if the points of a thousand knives pierced your body. All your muscles camped and your lungs convulsed because of that unbearable cold. You felt your body sinking deeper before you finally found the force to move and swim to the surface.

Eric watched you as your [y/h/c] hair disappeared under the surface. He knew you were special from the very first day, but how you just jumped without hesitation in that ice cold water, not showing the slightest amount of fear or asking questions, only strengthened his feelings about you. There was no doubt you were a true Dauntless, strong, brave, and -he had to admit- beautiful. You weren't like the others. You knew what you wanted, what you stood up for, and you fought for it. And Eric liked that. But what he saw in your eyes yesterday, the fragility and self-consciousness, made him wonder who you really were. What lay behind those strong eyes and the silence of yours? You carried things inside you that nobody had yet to understand. To him, you were a stunning mystery, a mystery he was never going to solve because he was sure that after today, you would hate him more than anything. Maybe it was better that way. He couldn’t allow himself to develop feelings for you. As he saw you burst through the surface, he walked away before you could see him. Watching your innocent eyes glaring at him would only remind him of how cruel he was -how cruel he had to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first part of the second part (which was too long to post it all at once). I didn’t want Eric to be too ooc and just let the reader get away with this because that would be too...not Eric like? Anyway, part 2.2 will be up soon!


	4. Chapter 4

With soaking clothes you were stamping down the hallway, irritated and freezing. He didn’t even bother to check if you were okay. He just walked away! What an idiot.  Just the simple memory of what happened yesterday made you cringe. How could you even have thought that there was something …special between you two? Oh how stupid you were, falling for a simple touch and those blue eyes. ‘Pull yourself together, [Y/N]’. Today, Eric made clear that you were just one of 20 initiates to him, nothing more. And you had to get everything related to him out of your mind and concentrate on training. 

„[Y/N]!“ Huh? All lost in your thoughts, you didn’t even notice when Four walked up to you. „What on earth did Eric do to you?“ He grabbed your arm and turned you around, observing you with furrowed brow.  
„Oh, it’s – uhm,  I just had the pleasure to go swimming”, you said, brushing it off. Of course you were angry at what had happened, but complaining about it to Four just didn’t feel right.  
“You okay?” Did you saw real concern in his eyes?  
„I’m fine.” Four crossed his arms. „Eric had no right to do this. Punishing you just because you didn’t do as he pleased.”  
“No it’s okay. As a Dauntless you have to follow the rules which I didn’t.”  
“[Y/N]”, Four smiled at you. “Even if I’m you superior, you can still be honest with me. You know, what you did today was really brave. I couldn’t have said it better.“  You couldn’t help but smile back. Being called brave by someone like him was obviously an honor to you. That confirmation made you feel better. „Thank you.” „Come, you need to take off those wet clothes or else you’ll get a cold.“ He put one hand on your back and pushed you slightly forward. „Four, the dormitory is not that way“, you said confused as you were going upstairs. „Yeah I know, we’re not going there.“ Great, for the second time today you were following one of your trainers through the compound, not knowing where you were going. Suddenly, you had the urge to laugh. For days, you barely talked to anyone and now, Al and Four talking to you and actually being nice, what a strange feeling. You could actually feel good for once, if there wasn’t the thought of Eric…

Four stopped in front of his apartment door and unlocked it. You eyed him suspiciously as he gestured you to get in. “Don’t worry I’m not planing on killing you.” You entered and look around. His apartment was huge! Sparsely furnished and convenient, just as you expected. Four vanished behind the bathroom door and you could hear how the bathtub started filling with water.  „If you want to continue training, you need a hot bath, or else it will damage your muscles.“ What? Was he really expecting you to take a bath at his place. Wasn’t that kind of..inappropriate? As if he could read your thoughts, Four gave you a light smack on your back. “Go. As your trainer I also have to care for your health.” 'Tell that Eric’, you thought and nodded quietly before you went to the bathroom.  
  
You almost forgot how good a bath felt. No, good was an understatement. It felt like heaven! Especially after that cold river. Your whole body relaxed as you sank deeper into the hot water, letting go of all your tensions. Eric, Al, you were able to forget everyone- it was just you and the nice apricot scent of the bath.  
After what felt like an hour, you finally stood up and got out of the water. Since your clothes were still completely wet and ice cold, you had to wrap a towel around your body.  
Four was standing in the kitchen when you came out of the bathroom. The smell of food was filling the air and you realized how hungry you actually were. “Finally. I was already in fear that you drowned. There are some clothes laying on the bed, put them on. They’re probably too big but still better than your wet ones.” You blinked and looked at Four. “Thank you.”You had to admit, it felt really great that someone actually cared about you, even if he was only doing his job.

You put on the clothes (which were much too big) and sat down on the table. “You must be hungry”, he stated, placed a plate with rice and turkey strips in front of you and sat down next to you. “You missed the dinner.” “Yes, I am. Than-” “Stop. You don’t have to thank me every five minutes. We’re not in Amity.” You’re not in Amity, right. But if there’s one characteristic of you that actually fit into Amity, it was your good manners. 'Thank you’ and 'please’  belonged to your daily vocabulary, although you had your problems with saying sorry…

After you both ate up, you decided it’d be best to leave now. It was late, you were tired, and hell knows what was awaiting you the following day. “I expect you to be fit tomorrow”, Four said in his trainer voice as you were standing in the doorway. “Yes sir”, you replied jokingly and smiled. “And…thanks.” You added and quickly left before Four was able to counter something. Just in the moment you reached the corner, someone came round it and bumped into you- well, it was more like you bumped into him since it was you who stumbled back and almost fell on the floor.  
Oh no, really? Of all the timings, it couldn’t have been a worse! If there was something like destiny, yours surely hate you. Eric looked at the clothes you were wearing, and the wet clothes in your hands. For a moment the question was in his eyes and started to form on his lips-and then comprehension hardened his gaze as he saw Four who was still standing in the doorway. He looked from Four back to you. “What the hell is going on?!”, the anger in his voice was clearly to hear. You wanted to tell him that it was none of his business, but before you opened your mouth, Four came ahead of you.  
“I just made sure she is okay after you decided to punish her just like that.”  
“Just like that? She clearly broke the rules. And now you reward her for that!” You felt sorry for Four. Just because of you, Eric was snarling at him.  
“I didn’t reward her. I just made sure she’ll be able to continue training. You know  how cold the water is by this time of the year!”  
“You didn’t have to baby her. [Y/N] is more than capable of putting up with it. She’s stronger than you think.” Whoa, did Eric just kinda.. complimented you? With an unnoticeable smile on your face, you looked at Eric who started realizing what he just said. He took a small glance at you before turning his attention back to Four. “Dare to do that again”, he said calmly but with such an emphasis that it sounded like a death threat. A cold shiver ran  down your spine, poor Four. Instead of staring back, Four looked at you. “You should go to bed”, he said before closing the door. Yes, you really should do that before Eric had the chance to jump down on your throat. As you were about to move past Eric he grabbed your arm. “Not so fast, initiate.” 

Oh god please no, as if this day wasn’t horrible enough. And the worst part of it all was, that despite the fact that you should be mad at him, you couldn’t. Was it the way he looked at you now that Four  wasn’t present anymore, or the touch of his hand on your arm that made every fiber of your body long for this man? Was feeling like this towards your leader even allowed?  
“You made it to the third place of the rankings”, Eric said and looked straight in your eyes. Wait, what? No ranting, no warning, nothing? Did he just pretend all of this didn’t happen? You just couldn’t make sense of him. One time he compliments you, the other time he pretends you don’t exist. Yesterday he looked at you like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time, but then, today he didn’t even care about your well-being. His expression was so soft while his body language and the things he actually said were kind of the opposite. It was as if he tried to be as little personal as possible. This man was the personification of contradiction, a mystery which your heart begged to solve. Why did it feel like your lungs were collapsing and you couldn’t barely breathe when he was near you?   

“That’s great”, you finally said without any actual enthusiasm. You couldn’t stand being any second longer with him. The ache for what never will happen was overwhelming you right now, and fuck, why did it hurt? You turned away from him and  were about to leave but he tightened his grip on your arm. “You okay?” Seriously? Now? He didn’t bother to ask you that after you jumped into the freezing hell of a river and all of sudden he cared? Did he maybe actually notice how troubled you were right now?  
“I’m fine!”, you hissed and freed your arm from his grip. This man was straining you nerves, and you were certain that if you didn’t leave right now, you’d start tearing up. “I had to do this”, Eric said as you turned around. You’ve never had heard his voice being so soft as in this moment. “I know.” With that words said, you quickly left.

As much as he tried to get you out of mind, your [y/e/c] eyes wouldn’t let go off him. And now, his actions and his stupid behaviour had driven you straight into the arms of Four. Seeing you with him did hurt Eric, even though he didn’t want to admit it. He just couldn’t stop himself from caring about you. And that scared him. He never felt like this towards someone before. That’s why he didn’t know how to behave around you, feelings like this were a weakness. As a Dauntless leader, he certainly couldn’t afford it that anyone could think he was weak, even if that resulted in you, the only person he cared about, hating him.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally! this took me like ages…there’s not much Eric x Reader in this but I promise, next chapter will be almost only about them :)


	5. Modern War Games

               `We know`  
               `so perfectly,`  
               `how to give birth`  
               `to the monsters`  
               `inside us,`  
               `but for reasons I`  
               `will never figure out,`  
               `we have not the slightest`  
               `clue of what to do`  
               `with all the`  
               `love.`  
                              `- Christopher Poindexter`

The following week went by pretty unspectacular. It seemed like your resistance against Eric’s orders made you more liked among the initiates. You found yourself spending more time with Al, Tris, Christina and Will and-you liked it! Having actually someone cheering on you during fights was a great feeling. You even managed to get Eric out of your mind, well, most of the time. In training, it was impossible to ignore him. He was constantly walking by you, lightly touching you to correct even the slightest mistake you made. Every time he touched you, your skin started prickling and your body ran hot. But apart from that, after the encounter in front of Four’s apartment, there was no intense eye-contact between you, much less any conversations.

After a long, exhausting day you were laying in you bed, just about to fall asleep when the door opened and people entered the room. You sat up and rubbed your eyes, trying to make out what was happening. “Everyone, get up!” you heard a familiar voice shouting. It was Eric, followed by Four and other Dauntless members who were walking around with lamps, throwing everyone out of their beds. You stood up and looked around. Just in that moment, you saw how Eric’s gaze was stuck on you. And then you realized that you were just wearing a t-shirt that ended shortly under your belly button, your naked legs and your panties exposed. You quickly grabbed your pants and put them on. “You have five minutes to get dressed and meet us at the rail track”, Eric said. “We’re going on a trip.”

You were standing in the train, panting, like everyone around you. The Dauntless leaders surely liked to rush you. After Four explained the rules of the “Capture the flag” game (you were pretty sure it wasn’t just a simple game), he and Eric divided you into two groups. “You pick first”, said Four. Eric shrugged .“Edward.” You didn’t know what you expected, and therefore you shouldn’t be surprised. Edward was the best of you. “I take the stiff”, Four said and looked at Tris. You gave her a wink as she walked past you.  
“[Y/N]” Your heart made a small jump as you heard Eric say your name, but you didn’t show your relief as you walked towards him. Besides you and Edward, Peter, Molly, Al and other Dauntless born initiates you didn’t know were also on his team. Don’t be a fool, you admonished yourself. Eric was obviously picking the best initiates for his team, Edward, Peter.., and you just happened to be one of the best. There was no other reason he’d pick you.

Four’s team was the first to jump off the train and hide their flag. While you watched them run away, Al walked up to you. “Isn’t it unfair how all the nice people are on Four’s team while we’re stuck with Team ‘I want to punch you for no reason?’ You couldn’t help but burst into laughter. “Well at least I have you”, he added smiling. But then, his smile abruptly disappeared as he looked behind you. “What is there to laugh, initiate?” Eric asked and you slowly turned around. “Get ready to jump”, he ordered and you nodded quietly. How did he manage to appear every time you were actually feeling good and made your mood drop with a single glance?

After your team made their way to the Navy Pier Park where you hid your flag, Eric gathered you all in a circle to discuss the strategy. “We should form teams”, Peter said and looked around. “Three of us stay here to guard the flag. The rest should range over the area to find the flag of Four’s team.” He stopped for a moment and counted. “Seven. Means three people head north-west, three north-east, and two people north.” Peter waited for the approval of the others. Since nobody of you had a better plan you all agreed. Molly, Myra and a Dauntless born you didn’t know volunteered to stay by the flag. You and Al already looked at each other in agreement, forming a team, when Eric called you. “You go with me”, he said. “We go north.” You looked at Eric in disbelief. “Why?” It was the only word that came out of your mouth. “Because Al is going with Edward and Peter”, he decided out of nowhere. Your mind started filling with low-key rage. What kind of game was Eric playing? Giving you hopes just to reject you the next moment and let you back as an emotional mess? No, not this time. He wanted a game? He’d get it. You were sure you could play it just as good as he did. You took a last glance back at Al who was looking at you with pity before following Eric out in the dark.

For about 10 minutes, you walked behind Eric, who was making sure that there were no opponents behind every corner.  
“Oh come on you don’t have to check if I’m still behind you”, you said as he turned around for the fifth time. “I’m not going to run away.”  
“Who knows what’s on that stubborn mind of yours.”  
“That would be against your orders.”  
“As if that ever kept you from doing things.”  
“Touché.”  
Did you just had a normal conversation with Eric? What that even possible? You smiled to yourself at this small success. While you were all lost in your thoughts, you didn’t notice how Eric abruptly stopped, causing you to bump into him. You were about to ask him why he stopped when you suddenly heard voices shouting, followed by gunfire. Seems that another of your small teams encountered Four’s people. You stood slightly up to see what was going on and immediately regretted the decision when a a shot missed your head only by inches. That was stupid, but now you knew the positions of the others and could move forward.

You adjusted your gun, ready to head into battle. Just as you started running, Eric grabbed you by your jacket and pulled you back. “Hey!”, you shouted. He put one hand on your shoulder to hold you back.  
“The hell you think you’re doing? You can’t run off like that and play the target for everyone.” He pointed up his gun. “These things damn hurt, and I didn’t chose you to be on my group to get hit.” So, after all, there was another reason he chose you? And was that why he wanted you to go with him? To keep you from getting hit? You couldn’t help smiling.  
“You picked me because I’m one of best”, you teased and winked at him to hide your excitement. For a short moment, Eric blinked at you with confusion. The game’s on, you thought. Now he’d know how it felt like to be sent contradicting signals.  
“Well a good soldier wouldn’t just go kamikaze”, he said.  
“Neither would he just sit here, hiding and letting his comrades do the work. You know…and miss all the action.” With that said, you left your safe place and ran off, straight into the jumble of gunfire.

Eric shook his head as he watched you running into the field. You acted as if you’ve never done anything else in your life. A smile appeared on his lips. So small, yet so fierce. A perfect little soldier, if it wasn’t for your stubbornness. A stunning girl. Eric cursed himself. He had managed to get the thought of you being more than an casual initiate to him out of his mind for a whole week. To build a small wall around it. And then you managed to tear it down with nothing more that a simple smile. He couldn’t fool himself any longer. No matter how hard he tried, he’d never be able to see you as a normal initiate, much less to convince himself that he didn’t develop any feeling towards you. And since he’d never be able to suppress them, he had to live with it.

You were running between containers and gunshots, trying to make out where they’re coming from. Out of the corner of you eye you saw a knee sticking out from behind a container. You quickly turned around, jumped to the side and threw yourself on the floor while pulling the trigger. A scream of pain confirmed that you hit your target. You walked over to look at who the poor person was. Drew looked at you with hatred while holding his leg. He was one of the few people you couldn’t stand, so you didn’t bother to talk to him but just walked away. It was only a second that you didn’t pay attention, when all of sudden, Uriah jumped out of nowhere and pointed his gun at you. “Sorry, [Y/N]”, he said and you were preparing yourself for horrible pain, but it never arrived. At the very last moment, Eric pulled you behind him and shot Uriah in the leg. Uriah’s weapon went off, but missed Eric. The boy collapsed on the ground and groaned in pain.

Before you could say anything, Eric grabbed your arm and dragged you along with him. You had no idea what he was doing again, but when you reached a small building and turned around the corner, he immediately pressed you against the wall. His eyes were piercing you while your breath got faster, your chest was rising and falling visibly. With his left hand, he pinned your arm against the wall, while the other one was placed next to your head, so you hadn’t the chance to escape. Slowly, he leaned forward. “That was stupid. Not only you could get hurt, but you also flouted my orders. Again! You clearly seem to have an authority problem. What to do with you?” His face was just inches away from yours, his body even less and you could feel the heat he was radiating. It all happened so fast that you didn’t know how to react. Your common sense was rebelling, telling you to get out of this situation. After all, he was playing a game, wasn’t he? And you were the one who was going to lose. Your body on the other hand was yearning for more. Your heart was beating like crazy and you had to bit your lip. All you could think about were his lips on yours, on your neck, on your whole body… You could feel the weight of Eric’s body pressed against yours as he tightened his grip on your arm. His fingers slipped on your cheek and down your chin. Why was his touch sending butterflies to your stomach? Have you really already fallen that much for him? How could you join his game if behind every smile you gave him, every wink, was more than just that?  
The sexual tension between you two was unbearable, and if you leaned your head only a bit forward..But was the satisfaction of your physical needs really worth the emotional pain it implicated? Being so close to what never will happen? 

Screams of joy and victory tore you out of your thoughts.. For a second, the confusion was written in your face. Someone captured the flag. Which team won? How much time did you actually spend here? Eric sighed and moved away from you. “Seems like we have to get back.”  
“Eric.” He looked at you. Shit, what now? Why did you said his name even in the first place? You had so much things on your mind.. You wanted to ask what just happened. Why he was treating you that way. Why he couldn’t just tell you straight forward what his intention was. But you couldn’t. Seems like you only were brave when it came to everything else than your feelings. The fear of being hurt, of him telling him you that you were just a nice toy made you shut your mouth. You shook you head and started running back to the meeting point.


	6. Chapter 6

`           There’s a moment`  
`           Between a glance, and a kiss`  
`           Where the world stops,`  
 `          For the briefest if times.`  
 `          And the only thing between us`  
 `          Is the anticipation`  
 `          Of your lips on mine.`  
`           A moment, so intense,>`  
`           It hangs in the air`  
`           As it pulls us closer.`  
`           A moment, so perfect,`  
 `          That when it comes to an end,`  
`           We realize;`  
`           It’s only just beginning.`  
`                                 - unknown`

 

If you thought they’d give you a break after a night full of action, you were utterly wrong. After a few hours of sleep (in which you dreamed of Eric, of course), you and the other initiates walked still half-asleep into the training room, where Four and Eric were already awaiting you. Almost automatically, your eyes fell on Eric who returned your look. Should you smile at him? No, no that would be stupid, you didn’t have a reason to smile. But looking away was also not an option since you were captured by his stunning eyes. Oh how beautiful he was! The sudden realization that you had more than a crush on the Dauntless leader made you cringe. You swore to yourself that nobody would ever find out about this, much less would you tell Eric how you felt, not unless you knew what the deal was between you two.  
“Today is the last day of the first stage, and your last chance to increase your points”, Four said and you noticed how he looked at Tris the whole time. It didn’t escape your notice that Tris had a thing for him. At least you weren’t the only one who had caught feelings for a superior.

You looked at the ranking board and smiled. You still were third, and although it would be nice to be second or even first, you knew you couldn’t stand a chance against Edward, whom you had to fight today. Since he was ranked first, your fight would take place last. It would be ‘the highlight of the first stage’, and you’d be the chosen idiot who’d lose in front of everyone’s eyes. Well, at least you’d remain third, no matter how the fight would end. Unless Al would win against Peter, but as much as you liked Al, he had no chance. 

The day went by slowly. After you warmed up and did some endurance – and strength-training by yourself, you decided to give yourself a break and watch the fights.  
“Nervous?” As you turned around, you faced heavily ripped, crossed arms. You always forgot how much taller he was, especially now as he was standing so close to you that the space between you wasn’t even elbow length. Seriously, didn’t that man understand the concept of personal space?  
You lifted your head to look at Eric. “I have no reason to.” Liar. Actually, you were nervous as hell. You were always nervous when Eric was around you, and after what happened last night you weren’t capable of forming any clear thought at all. In addition to that, you really didn’t want him to see loosing the fight.  
“Just keep in mind to always hold your cover up. It would be a shame if that pretty face of yours had to take all the hits.” You opened your mouth to reply something, but couldn’t think of anything. You were just speechless. How could he just casually mention something with such a straight expression while you were blushing as hell.  
“Edward, [Y/N]”, Four called and you sent a silent prayer to heaven.  
“Good luck”, Eric said and winked at you.

Edward was taller than you, stronger, and just as fast. There was nothing you could beat him at, but to your surprise, the fight was fairly equated. You had to take some strong hits from him, but not more than you dealt out. You were panting, and your whole body was hurting, every move caused pain. Fortunately, you managed to cover your face, just as Eric told you, well knowing that a punch from Edward in your face would send you into unconsciousness (you learned that from your fight with Peter). The fight lasted longer than you thought. If Edward was tired, he didn’t show it. Your punches didn’t affect him as much as his did to you. But maybe, if you’d punch him in the stomach, he’d bend over and you could reach his head. And then, with one strong punch on his temple… Suddenly, you felt sharp pain on your cheekbone- It was terrifying, you’ve never felt so much pain before. Your body hit the hard ground and Edward bent over you. 'Get up’, you forced yourself, but you knew the fight was over. Your head was spinning and you lost any feeling of direction. As much as you tried, your body wouldn’t listen to you. You closed your eyes as you saw Edward’s fist moving towards you. Another explosion of pain, followed by complete darkness. 

You woke up with a horrible headache and pain all over your body. With a groan you sat up and looked around. The medical area was empty, not even a nurse was here. A mirror at the end of the room caught your attention. The pain in your head intensified as you rolled out of your bed and slowly walked over to the mirror. The girl in it was covered in bruises. A sewn laceration just below her left eye surrounded by violet-blue skin. So much to covering your face. Your eyes moved to a small digital watch on the table. It was past 11pm, you’ve been sleeping for more than five hours! That final punch of Edward did surely run you hard.

The way back to the initiate dormitory led you through the room with the net. Oh the deja-vu feeling! You remember the first day in Dauntless, how exited you were. Everything was new and strange, but you knew you’d like it. And hell you did. Going to your limits and beyond, that’s what you were made for. Almost subconsciously, you climbed on the net and crawled to the place beneath the open ceiling. The full moon was shining brightly, lighting up the whole sky and even the room, and it seemed like all clouds made way for the view of millions of stars. It was breathtaking, simply beautiful. Back in your childhood days you used to do things like this more often. Just laying out in the fields and watching the night sky. And then you would look for constellations. Your mother once gave you a book about the star constellations and their myths, and from that day one you wouldn’t shut up about it. You’ve read it probably over ten times and knew the stories by heart.  
You didn’t know how much time had passed -it could be only twenty minutes, or more than a hour-when you heard footsteps. Who would walk around here at such a time? The apartments and the pit were on the opposite side of the Dauntless compound. The person stopped just next to the net.  
“[Y/N]?” Of all Dauntless people, it just had to be Eric. “What are you doing here?” You sat up, trying not to groan in pain. “What are YOU doing here?” you asked a bit too harsh.  
“I asked you first.”  
“I asked you second.”  
“That’s not how it works, love. Don’t forget that I am your leader”, he said in a surprisingly soft tone. You crawled towards the edge of the net so that you could see him. In the shimmering moonlight he looked even more threatening than usual, but that made him only more attractive. And the way he looked up to you-oh dear!  
“So?”  
“Oh uhm I was on my way back to the dormitory but the sky is so beautiful tonight!” You shrugged your shoulders and gave him a sugary smile.  
“You’re supposed to be in the infirmary, after what Edward did to you.”  
“I’m fine, and besides that, the infirmary is so depressing. I have no reason to stay there. Lying in bed I can also do in the dormitory.”  
“You always find a reason to argue, huh?”, Eric said and crossed his muscular arms. “But I will take you back to the infirmary, now!”  
“Oh Eric, come on”, you begged. “The sky is stunning tonight. It’s really relaxing to watch the stars. Maybe you should try that too. It surely won’t do any harm..” Eric lifted an eyebrow. “No way I’m going to that girl’s stuff.”  
“Well then you can go and continue to do whatever you were doing. I’m not going to move.”  
“I actually wanted to look after you, princess.” He did what? Eric really cared about you, didn’t he?  
“Thank you, but I’m fine.”  
“Do you really think I haven’t noticed how much pain your every movement causes you? And that big ass cut under your eye?“ Of course he did. But you weren’t the first one who got hurt that bad, that happened on a daily basis here. Was there something wrong with him?  
"Eric, what do you want?” You looked straight into his eyes, but surprisingly he looked away. It was the first time he didn’t hold your gaze.

You turned around and crawled back to your place. Of all the people you’ve met, Eric was the only person you couldn’t read even the slightest bit. The way he acted, all the things he did, it was a complete mystery to you.  
“Cling on tight”, Eric said all of sudden. Before you even realized what he meant, your body rolled over as Eric lifted himself on the net. With a dull sound, you landed on Eric. “Ouch”, you whispered. The surprise was written in Eric’s face, which was only inches away from yours. And then, a smile played on his lips. “So that’s what you meant when you wanted me to 'relax’, huh?” You felt your cheeks heating up, fortunately it was dark enough for Eric not to see it. "You wish!“ With a grown you heaved yourself from Eric, crawled back and laid down. Eric followed you.  
"See, it’s not a girl’s thing. Everyone can enjoy it”, you said after you two got comfortable next to each other, but still keeping a distance.  
“It’s not that bad, I guess.“  
You smiled and pointed at a certain star constellation right above you. "See those seven bright stars who look like a dipper? That’s the Ursa Major, the great bear. According to Greek mythology, Zeus, the greatest of all gods, fell in love with a beautiful huntress Callisto. And they even had a son together which really infuriated Zeus’ wife Hera who was jealous as hell. Angered by Zeus’ betrayal, she turned Callisto into a bear, who lived like this for the next 15 years, roaming the forest and always running and hiding from hunters. One day, her son Arcas was walking in the forest and the two came face to face. At the sight of the bear, Arcas quickly drew his spear. Seeing the scene from Olympus, Zeus intervened to protect his love. He sent a whirlwind that carried both Callisto and Arcas into the heavens, where he turned Arcas into the constellation Ursa Minor and Callisto into Ursa Major.”  
“Beautiful”, you heard Eric say.  
“Isn’t it? Ursa Major is the third largest constellation in the sky and can be seen ever day of the year. When it’s not cloudy of course.”  
“I didn’t mean the stars.”  
You turned your head and saw that Eric was looking at you. Immediately you felt blood rushing in your cheeks. “Oh.” Crap! Your brain apparently stopped working because you hadn’t the slightest idea what to say now, so you just turned your face away.  
“Where do you know that from? I always thought Amity people don’t really have it with knowledge.”  
You shrugged your shoulders. “Both my parents were Erudite before Amity. Guess that lies in my genes. Just as changing factions and leaving your family behind.”

You didn’t know how much time had passed or when you fell asleep, but as you opened your eyes, your head was resting on Eric’s shoulder. You quickly jumped up and looked around. It was still dark but the moon had traveled quite a distance from west to east. Eric sat up and looked at you.  
“Moonlight becomes you.” What was it with all that complimenting today? You decided to ignore his statement. “How long have I been asleep?”  
“About two hours.”  
“Why didn’t you wake me up?”  
Eric shrugged. “Well you needed to rest after such a fight. And besides that, today is visiting day. I’m sure your parents wouldn’t like it seeing you all beaten up and tired.”  
Oh how could you forget? On visiting day the initiates could see their parents for the first and last time after the choosing ceremony. Not that it concerned you. The chances that you’d get to see your parents tomorrow equaled zero, even if they were transfers themselves. In Amity, transferring to Dauntless was one of the biggest sins you could commit. These two factions were complete opposite. Even if nobody openly talked about it, you knew that a family whose child transferred to Dauntless stopped considering them as their family member. Suddenly, you felt a mix of sadness and anger inside you. It was faction before family, but still..

“When did you stopped being the cruel instructor and started caring?” You hissed at Eric and immediately regretted it. Letting out your rage on him was not fair. “I’m sorry, I just- I should go”, you said and crawled to the edge of the net when Eric held you back. He jumped down and grabbed you by your waist to carefully lift you on the floor. “Thanks. But I could’ve done that myself.”  
Eric sighed. “It doesn’t hurt to take some help from time to time. You don’t have to be always on your own.” You stopped and looked at Eric. His hands were still on your waist, and his eyes were fixing yours as if they were the whole universe. “Funny to hear that coming from someone like you. And besides, you still haven’t told me why you came here in the first place.” Seconds passed where Eric didn’t said anything. He just looked at you and the grip on your hips loosened. You held your breath. What was that strange feeling that sent chills down your spine? Your senses heightened in anticipation, it was as if you were hyper-aware of everything going on around you. But still all you could focus on were the lips of the man standing so close to you. All you could think about was yours on his. And those few seconds where you were both just looking at each other felt like days. Days in which you noticed all the small movements, the twitches and even the breathing cycle of him, trying to judge what was going to happen next. Your stomach flattered in fear. Eric reached out and put his hand under your chin to lift it up. His touch was so soft, as if you were made of porcelain and he was afraid of breaking you. He searched for permission in your eyes, waited for a reaction, expected you to back away, but you didn’t. Eric laid his thumb on your lips as he leaned forward. And then, he kissed you, slowly, reverently,surprised that this was really happening, that he had wanted you so badly. The universe halted, no one existed around you two. You should have pulled away, it was wrong. Was it? But could something that felt so right, that you’ve been secretly waiting for the whole time, be wrong? Instead, you wrapped your arms around his neck. You didn’t know whether you were kissing for five minutes or five hours and your mouth felt bruised, but neither of you could let go. Because it felt so good to be held. Eric’s arms trembled as they held you and his heart beat against you and you knew that whatever you were feeling was mutual.

After what felt like an eternity, you pulled away. You actually didn’t want to, but you felt so overwhelmed with thoughts.  
“This was long overdue”, Eric said.You opened your mouth to answer, but only a ripple of laughter came out while you shook your head. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt so happy. Butterflies were flattering in your stomach and you couldn’t help smiling brightly. "You really could’ve done that earlier, you know?“ you said jokingly. Without further ado, you turned around and made your way to the dormitory. There was so much for you to digest right now, after all that happened. And you knew-you felt- that it was only the beginning.  
"Good night, Eric.”


End file.
